


Disappearance

by barenziah



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-02
Updated: 2017-10-02
Packaged: 2019-01-08 01:27:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12244446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/barenziah/pseuds/barenziah
Summary: His name is John, and he knows he's going to die.





	Disappearance

**Author's Note:**

> (I didn't really know whether or not this should be a lower rating or whether the Hunger counts as a major character but I wanted to be safe and put the warnings anyway)

His name is John, and he knows he’s going to die.

Well, not “die” in the traditional sense. But whatever he’s a part of doesn’t want him anymore. The problem with that is, he doesn’t know what being rejected by the collection will do to him.

“The Hunger,” as he’s heard his enemies call it, has been absorbing everything it could for time immeasurable. Once he unlocked the secret of transcending the cycle of life and death, “John” ceased to exist. His form, his voice, his life itself– they all blended into the amalgamation that now spent its existence eating other existences. Everything – and everyone – gathered from the devoured planes blurred into one. All their wants and dreams turn to ash.

As he felt himself melt into the collective, he realized his thoughts were no longer his, and that much was true of everyone else. Whatever thoughts anyone has are shared between them all, the majority of which serve their purpose of finding and devouring. For a long time, those thoughts reflected his own.

And now they don’t. 

The problem with agreeing to do something for the rest of eternity is that even if you’ve convinced yourself you’ve got everything figured out, eventually something will happen that will throw everything you thought you knew for a loop.

In the days preceding the parlay, the same song and dance he’d become accustomed to, he finds himself anxious for it to begin. His mind wanders to Merle, who has shown him kindness beyond measure for the last few decades. John doesn't understand why he keeps being forgiven for the evils he has caused not only Merle, but his crew – his family – as well. Frustration wells up in his veins and soon enough he finds some sick part of him, deep down, finding joy in shaking his hand and killing him. What's even more frustrating is that most of him, traitorously, feels sad afterwards. Empty, even. Tired.

So tired.

They're watching him now. Keeping an eye on him.

Long before the cracks began to show up on John’s face, he knew he was going to be rejected, pulled forcefully from the monstrous creature that he was a part of. A tug at his soul alerted him to the danger that was to come.

Funny. He didn’t think he had a soul anymore.

Now he faces oblivion, something he’d feared for years. The thought of eternity has always terrified him, no matter which religion he studied, no matter what option he pondered. The thought of existing scared him just as much as the thought of ceasing to exist did.

He doesn’t know where he’ll end up, or whether he’ll be punished for the next part of his life, assuming there is a next part for him. He certainly would deserve it, having chased and killed and absorbed so much. He's destroyed so many lives. What better comeuppance than to let his own essence be destroyed? 

All he knows is that they won’t let him go easily. He can already feel the bonds holding himself to the rest begin to stretch as if being pulled with great force. As the bonds snap, whatever physical form he still has breaks open to reveal iridescence beneath. He cries out in pain, and his screams are echoed by the millions that are still bound to the collection.

Slowly, John feels himself fill with rage that isn’t his, rage that is being forced upon him. His consciousness begins to fade. He writhes, fights against it for as long as possible.

But the collective is stronger, and he knows this.

As he loses the last shred of his own will, he lets his mind wander. His last thoughts are of a smiling dwarf, one that conjured peace in a heart that he didn’t know he had. He pictures a sunset on a beach, and for once in his life, he fears nothing.

And, like a whisper falling softly, he fades away.

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like John is underappreciated, and I thought it would be interesting to explore the way he experienced things, so I wrote a (very small) ficlet. I'm definitely working on some bigger projects, but seeing as I haven't written in a long time, I wanted to warm up with something small. Thanks for reading!


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